March 25th, 2015

I'm tired and propped up by caffeine at the moment. Because we're short a deckhand, I've been alone since 12am, for 4.5 hours now. Quite an interesting experience... My body goes around folding laundry, moving furniture, doing rounds etc., but my mind is elsewhere. Meeting all these deckhands on beautiful private yachts with normal schedules, I find myself constantly dreaming of working on such beautiful boats. My mind is far from the now. I'm damn tired, though, so I'm far from concerned about my level of presence in this moment.

The lines from a Counting Crows song were stuck in my head today:

“Step out the front door
like a ghost into the fog
where no one notices the contrast
of white on white.
In between the moon and you
angels get a better view
of the crumbling difference
between wrong and right.
I walk in the air, in the rain
through myself and back again
Where? I don't know.
Maria says she's dying
through the door I here her crying,
Why? I don't know.”